About Us
 Projects
 How to Help
 Resources
 Contact
 Home
   
China - Dolls
video gallery >
   
Jan 
Jun 15, 2004
Haiti’s Burning Mission Remembered…
I held that precious soul as tight as I possibly could. Those riveting brown eyes stared into mine speaking nothing – but saying everything. “Why was I born to die at 2 years in this abandoned baby hospital – What did I do wrong?” I wasn’t wiping the tears plummeting from my eyes – I was wiping them as they fell on the ‘lil naked body of this angel – I sat in the dirt of that neglected back room – children all around me – None crying…. Why should they? Their tears had all been shed – That brought NO relief. Smiles? – NO – you need a reason to smile – Just little stoic stares wandering around in circles. I wanted to sing – but no song would come – I wanted to stop crying – but I could not – My soul was crying – I began to rock – a motherly instinct I suppose. As I did I could feel the tenseness in his ‘lil body release. I saw a different look on this ‘lil face – He looked deep into my eyes and a tiny little hand reached for my cheek – He found comfort in touching my tears and I found comfort in holding him closer. I leaned into his face and said “Jesus loves you baby” – And how or why I remembered the French I’ll never know – but my spirit whelmed up as I said – “Jesu vous aime – babe” “Jesu vous aime” “Jesu vould aime” And with those words being whispered into his little soul – he closed his beautiful eyes…and died. I sat there for several more minutes rocking this lil angel – and a song finally welled up in my soul – Jesus loves you – this I know….. for the Bible tells me so – little ones to Him belong – They are weak – But He is strong – A helper at the abandoned baby hospital spoke – “Mrs. Jan – may I take the baby NOW?” She helped me to stand – I leaned against the wall – “What was his name?” I whispered…. She looked at him and back at me….. Oh He doesn’t have one…. None of the children have names. I started to reel at the horror – Born – Lived – Breathed – Thought – Hurt – Hungry – Pain – BUT NO NAME???? Mercifully Jesus spoke into my spirit – “Jan - He’s mine now!” I walked back through the saddest sight on earth – little nameless human beings – Little you’s Little me’s Laying on dirt / cement / covered in newspaper – or dirty rags – ALL dying some coughing – some already gone. ALL needing someone to love them – take care of them – needing someone to be Jesus to them. My mind was reeling – My heart breaking as we traveled across impassable paths called roads to our next mission. I had never seen such poverty in my whole life – children playing in gutters where the filthiest water I have ever seen sludged through: diseased children, crippled children, naked children, and most of all HUNGRY children. We had come to help feed the children – but what we would see, we were not really prepared for. We drove to the big church. We could see that the little children had begun to gather hours before they knew the big door would open. Pastor Neree had done a beautiful job training the children about respecting God’s house. They were trying SO hard to be patient. But what does a little child know about being patient and not pushing in line when he is hungry and hurting? Some had little brothers and sisters in their arms – not old enough to walk. Some had little crippled brothers or sisters on their backs – but all waiting as patiently as they could. I stared into the room where the big tables were set up – little tin plates with a few beans and rice and powdered milk waiting. Pastor Neree had taught the children to walk in, find a seat, bow their little heads, fold their hands, and wait for prayer and thanks to Jesus for the food. I walked back outside the gate. Those faces – those beautiful angelic faces – those eyes – big and wide looking to us for help – that LOOK of hunger on the children’s face will never leave your memory. The pushing began to get harder and some little ones had been pushed down and were crying. Some were hollering and some were saying “shhhh….shhhh” – trying to hush the noise. All of a sudden, the big gates swung open. The man in charge was trying as best he could to count heads: 1, 2, 3, 4,…8,…12,…15 – shut the gates. Those fifteen ran in and took their seats. Open the gates again! The children from way at the end were shoving and pushing. Many, many were crying – little ones with babies on their hips reaching out to the gates and pointing. How do you describe the pain in those faces? The gates began to open again: 16, 17,…25,…40,…50, STOP. A little boy was almost crushed as the gates swung shut! He thought he was going to get in. He thought he had come early enough to be counted. But the man in charge hollered something in French, and with his hands reaching toward the food the child was pushed back out, out into the street. It was too late. The gates had shut and no one else could get in that day! There was total silence among the children for a moment – they were staring, looking, hoping that when all the children were seated, there would be more seats and the gates would open again. But the tables were full and those left outside the gates would go hungry another day. They clung to the gates, many peering in to just watch as the other children bowed their heads and gave thanks for what Jesus provided for them. I stood and watched in shock as those children’s hands slowly dropped down the gate and they would finally let the last finger turn loose. I watched as some would just drop to the ground and stare (some had been standing for hours in the scorching noon-day heat) and others as they would slowly, so slowly begin to walk away. Soon their sobbing turned into silence. Why should they cry? More tears didn’t stop the hurt: only food would! And I felt a hot tear hit my cheek; and another and another and another! “Those are human beings. Those are real babies and they are STARVING and they are HUNGRY!” I hid my face, not wanting them to see me crying. I turned to find a corner I could hide behind. I buried my face in my hands. I just wanted to scream as loudly as I could, “DON’T GO AWAY! WE’LL FEED YOU. PLEASE DON’T GO”, but the big gate had closed and they knew what that meant! Pastor Neree had fed all he had money to feed for another day, but what about tomorrow and the next day? Hunger does not go away with ONE meal! I didn’t speak another word riding back to the hotel; I went straight to my room and fell on my bed. I knew there was an answer to all this; I knew that Jesus did not create these beautiful children to have them abandoned and hungry, and I wanted to know why children suffer! In between sobbing I cried out to God for His answer. I sobbed until I was shaking and finally fell into a semi-sleep – in my dream GOD began revealing to me His answer – I saw the Garden of Eden. There was no hunger or pain or sickness or dying there. But into that picture came the one who has caused the entire FALL of the human race – SATAN himself, furious because God had created another to take his place, he came to kill, steal and destroy every human being. He is the one who is worshipped most in Haiti and what a MESS he has made. The only hope for those people is what Jesus is doing through His precious people sending food, feeding, loving, housing, caring for, building hospitals for those children and all in Jesus’ name. I saw the answer: Jesus’ people coming to destroy Satan’s power. God did not want those babies to go hungry or die on a cement floor covered with newspapers. He told us 2,000 years ago to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick; it is we who have failed, NOT GOD. He told us what to do and we have not done it! Jesus went to hell for us and snatched the keys of death, hell and the grave away from Satan and gave them to YOU and to ME! He has given me and He has given you all His authority – He has given me and has given you His name – He has given me and has given you the command to go in HIS name with HIS power and turn the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light – The kingdom of Satan would become the kingdom of God’s precious Son if we do OUR part! If that were YOU in Haiti would you want someone to go and do something about that horror? I must have lay there for several hours because when I next opened my eyes it was dark outside. I had remembered the call to supper, but the thought of my eating after this day was the furthest thing from my mind! God has shown me His plan and my destiny. To be continued…
Reconstructive Surgery

Smile of a Child is paying the medical expenses of a precious little girl in Kenya ... read more

  Privacy Policy